well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
