Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
