Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
