You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
