he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
