My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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