I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
