Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
