i just wanna soil my oats bro
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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