the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
