you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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