He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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