It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
