quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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