im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
