i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
