ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
