i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
