I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
