Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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