You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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