Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
