you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
