Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
