I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Farmville is her only friend.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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