What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
