butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
