I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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