Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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