Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Can I color on your dick again?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
