Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Two words: blizzard sex
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
