There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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