I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
