Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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