Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
