Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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