woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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