Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
