can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize