i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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