I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
