I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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