just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
