Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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