ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think I won the penis lottery.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
