So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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