Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
