One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
