I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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