Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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