Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
