You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Will exercising make me less horny?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
