why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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