I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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